Passionately Loving Life

This is a post I have been excited about writing for a while, but something else always presented itself each week. The thought is that its good to have many authentic loves in this world. There's a false belief among Christians that its somehow good to deny yourself even those things that can bring you the most happiness. There's a great line from the book and the movie, "the color purple", and it says, "God must get offended when we just walk by the color purple", Beauty is such an incredible proof of God's very existence, and His Goodness, because its all over the place, it's almost in your face. If there was only one Rose, it would probably be in a museum, but God chose to make millions of Roses. He is so superfluous in the way He pours out beauty. That it would seem wrong not to delight in it.

The second proof that we should passionately delight in the good things of this world, is because happiness is a good that it is important to seek. Happiness makes life more agreeable to those around us, and it offers us a greater opportunity to be more charitable, and more creative for the good of others.

Here's the one problem, there are a lot of false loves in the world. Pope Benedict makes an incredible point about love and truth. Whereever authentic love is, truth will always be present. Because Love is part of Truth, and vice a versus, you can not have one with out the other. So the man that says, "my authentic love in life is going to a prostitution ring," This is not good, because its not true. Through prayer, we can discern the more difficult false loves that we all have. Here are a few of what I believe are my life's authentic loves.

1.) Saturday Date night with my wife- We have tried basically every night of the week to get out together, and it turns out that Saturday we are both most relaxed, and its something that I look forward to every week, our best dates are the most simple, a bike ride to get ice cream in the Spring and Summer, ice skating together in the winter.

2.) Sports with my kids- So far each of my children likes different sports, but I just enjoy watching them grow and have fun, this time with them reminds me that we are created to live this way, in the freedom and joy of being God's child.

3.) Pick-up Basketball- There is a unique joy in serious pick up basketball, even if a person never played before, because its has so many things that are healthy for men, competition and camaraderie. I asked a guy in his 50's who had to finally stop playing after playing for many years, what he missed the most, and he said, "after a week of working in a suite, I used to love giving people a shot to the chest when going for a rebound,"

4.) Work Well done- I enjoy the work week so much, because it feels so good to direct my mind and my strength to something that is supporting my family. Plus, hard work is a great way to overcome fear.

5.) The Rosary with my wife- This is something that I strongly believe is the strength behind my marriage, my wife and I say the Rosary together right when we put the kids to bed each night. If I am having a difficult day, I will find myself thinking its not long until I am with my wife for our daily rosary. I think the strength comes from the fact that love is something we all need, when you pray with your wife, you are giving and receiving love from God and from your spouse.

These are a few of my loves, the point is to have many authentic loves in life, because these moments of happiness will help us make life so much more agreeable to those around us!

Rest in Peace- Coach Eddie Burke

I lost an important person in my life yesterday, and a great man, Eddie Burke. He was my high school basketball coach, and as Phil Martelli, the coach of St. Joe's University, said about Coach Burke in the Philadelphia Inquirer article this morning, "anyone that has played high school sports knows, your coach is so much more than that," that was what Coach Burke was to me, he was more than just a Coach, and thankfully became a great friend. I will miss him tremendously! One great story, and there are millions, because he was Irish.

My senior year, we were 4-0 to start the year, and in 1st place in the Catholic South, we were playing Roman Catholic on a Friday afternoon, who was ranked #5 in the country, with 2 future NBA players, and 6 future division 1 players. It would not be an overstatement to say they were loaded. The school had to close the doors to the outside, because the gym had become so crowded, and we went on to play one of our best games of the season, but we lost at the end of the game. As our team sat in the locker-room, we were so disappointed because we had one of the best teams in the country on the ropes, and Coach Burke came in,I can still remember it like it was yesterday and said, "I am really proud of you guys," and that was all he said. What an amazing lesson, we did our absolute best, and he knew it, so I think it was one of his proudest moments as a coach, in a lose, because he cared more about teaching, than he did about his own ego, and he knew he was teaching. I learned so much from Coach Burke, and he was a great gift in my life!

Movie- The Boy in Striped Pajamas

Here we are more than 1/2 way through lent, and as a Priest said to me last week, it was his feeling that the readings in the Mass change at the perfect time, everything now is about Jesus as our savior. His thought was that at the 1/2 way point of lent, its clear to everyone that by ourselves we can't make it, we need a savior. The great news for us, not only does He love us, not only does He seek us, but He is willing to die for us.

My wife and I watched a powerful film last night, I suspect one reason the world missed this movie, is because the acting wasn't particularly good, however there was a couple things that moved me in a big way.

1.) Having the heart of a Child- The movie presents something that we all want so badly, and that is to remove all jealously, all pettiness from our life, and begin to view everyone we come in contact with, with the heart of a child. With no pre-conditions, giving everyone the benefit of the doubt. Looking for the magic that we know is present in every human life. A child's heart is pure, so its ready for adventure, its ready to be surprised. Fear takes away all the surprise in life, all the mystery. This thread runs through the whole film, his sister is about 4 years older, and already the lies have taken root in her heart, and there's a joylessness that begins to take hold of her. Even in the worst of times, a child is quick to find room for joy. We need to learn from this!

2.) Where have I made peace with the culture of death- This is what struck me most about the film, it would be a waste to watch a film like this, and just see the evil of the nazis, and say, we'll they are just monsters. The question that kept coming to me last night was, "where have I made peace with death, with what destroys, with what tears down," Sadly, the answer that I found was that I make peace with how the world objectives people far too often. The Holocaust did not start over-night, the seeds of death were taking root in the people who committed these crimes probably for years. That's why its so important to root it out. The big and the small lies we believe, and the answer I believe is to foster the heart of a child. Just on a day to day basis to let the beauty present in all lives and in all moments shock us and inspire us.

That's the risk the Christian takes in this world, to love all the time and in all circumstances, and to be a person that creates beauty, and never tears down!

March Madness

I thought I would take a little break from Posts on Faith and Philosophy, but as a Catholic this is good, because we love all things human, everything true, everything good, and everything beautiful. What could be more beautiful than March. This post is an ode to the wonderful month of March, and a list of what makes it so great:

1.) March Madness- The NCAA tournament is amazing when you think about, what makes it great are two things the Pools, and the under-dogs. I have met people that never liked basketball, and before and after the tournament they still don't like basketball, but after filling out a Pool, they begin to live and die for every game. Plus, winning a neighborhood pool, or an office pool requires no basketball pedigree. I have to say, I know a lot about basketball, not only did I play the game, but I have been a junkie for my whole life, my dad is an absolute junkie, and I have lived and breathed basketball for my whole life. I have never even come close to winning a Pool, let me repeat, I have a PHD in basketball, but I have never won a Pool. Its always the house-wife or the little kid who wins, and this is why its great. Everyone can own it. Plus there's a lot of teams- (65), so chances are there's a connection to a team to root for, and the under-dogs, we see ourselves in these teams, we should always keep the belief that great things are always about to happen.

2.) The Start of Spring- I love the spring, I love everything about it, the extended hours, the smells, the colors. People are happier. Spring's another proof that happiness is contagious, and happiness makes life more agreeable for those around us. Spring is all about hope, its a big thing to realize in our spiritual lives, that we don't have to make peace with the darkness, that soon water will flow again, colors will return, Spring tells us that we are made for happiness! We don't have to say, well my life will never change, and find comfort in misery. Winter and darkness have much to teach us, but nature makes it very clear, we are not meant to stay there, we are meant for Spring.

3.) St. Patricks/St. Joseph's Day- If your Catholic, with a little luck one of these feast days will fall on a Friday, and the Bishop usually exempts Catholics from the Fast. This is actually a great lesson, when I first converted back to the Faith, I was totally against this, I reasoned, there's only 6-7 major fast days in the Church, we should keep them all. Until someone told me, "Tony, don't be more Catholic than the Pope," The Church likes to rejoice, and we should joyfully fast when appropriate and rejoice when appropriate.

So let's all resolve to enjoy the month of March, because the years and our life's best days are in front of us!

A lot to learn from the Prodigal Son

To the Left is Rembrandt's famous painting of the Prodigal son. Its power and beauty are unbelievable. Here are some thoughts that I borrowed from Pope Benedict and Michael O'Brien in a talk that he gave on this painting, that can be found at www.studiobrien.com.

The first thing to point out is the most obvious, the Prodigal Son's return to his Father, and return to the world of love. He has lost everything, even his health. The picture is the perfect portrait of what sin ultimately gets us. But behind the horrible garments, and the bruised flesh, you can tell that he has finally found peace. He has nothing left in this world except the loving arms of His Father, and finally he realizes that was all he ever needed. We can find this embrace every time we pray, when we allow our souls to be wrapped up in God.

The second important point is the Father, there is something more here than simple pity. Pity is easy to feel, just look at the prodigal sons torn cloths. Mercy is difficult, but that is what those hands give, pure mercy. There is something else that many spiritual writers have pointed out about this picture, its almost like the head of the prodigal son is the head of an infant child, all the way down to the mucus of an infant emerging from the womb. This is what the Mercy of God gives us. A brand new start! Its as if the Father sees all the way back to his birth, He sees the man He was created to be. He sees that He made him Good, made him to love. At every confession we are invited to experience this newness. To begin again, and walk in the original goodness that the Father created us for.

The third point is the Elder Brother, in all the books and all the homilies I have ever heard, I never heard the point that Michael O'Brien made in his talk on the prodigal son. The elder brother says to the Father, "This son of yours," and the Father in total gentleness corrects him immediately by saying, "This brother of yours," Upon receiving mercy from the Father, we have to remember what got us into trouble in the first place, Selfishness, living for ourselves. The only way to live is radically connected to our brother, to care and love our brother not as a mere social contract, but as a family.

Finally, Pope Benedict makes the point, the elder brother is invited into the banquet, to celebrate, to live Christian Joy. If we believe what we say, that Jesus is truly present in the Eucharist, then Joy is the only response. We never learn what the elder brother decided to do, if he accepted the invitation into the party, that's because the invitation is addressed to us today, lets walk into the banquet to rejoice with our Father and our brothers.

You are Good

Yesterday was the first Sunday in Lent, and the Gospel deals with Jesus 40 days in the desert being tempted by the devil. A visiting priest to our parish gave an amazing homily, it dealt with the devils most sneaky temptation. He made the point that the "obvious" temptations towards "Lust, greed, drunkenness" are not the most dangerous, and in some instances can even lead a soul into a deeper relationship with God, because the soul sees clearly how much he/she needs a Savior. The most dangerous temptations of the devil, is not to convince us that Greed is bad, or that violence is bad, those are obvious to anyone who is open, the most dangerous temptation is to convince us that we are bad. Here's the big problem, if you think that you are flawed, it effects your identity, how you see the world, how you see yourself, and how you see God.

This is the beauty of confession, when you confess your sins to a priest, its so healthy, because you are saying, "I have done these things, but this is not me, this is not who I am," A person can walk away from the confession with great joy, because the truth of the matter is, God does not make mistakes, He made me Good, so its true. We have to remember this, because the more our identity is tied up in the notion that God made me good, the more likely I will continually make good choices!