The Dangers of Pornagraphy

I just read an article last week about the dangers of pornography, which is excellent, you can find it here http://tob.catholicexchange.com/2010/02/01/1571/; but the only negative thing about the article was it didn't offer any advice for people struggling with this addiction. It was basically like telling people that were stranded on a dessert island, that the island is extremely dangerous, and by the way, there's no way off, ever. But that's not faith, in the pregame to the Super Bowl last night, a jazz musician sang, "Saints endure, that's why even the sad songs in New Orleans, end happy". But lets be realistic, pornography is absolutely a poison to our culture, here's why.

When ever operating something, its always best to use something as close to its makers original intention as possible. Your car will not work for very long if you put vegetable oil in the gas tank every time, your iphone will not work for very long if you let it fall in water 6-12 times a week (I am not talking from experience here). But the key to happiness that I am learning over and over again, is to work with life in the way that God intended, and for a human it can all be summarized in words from John Paul II, "man must make a sincere gift of himself," The more we do that the happier we will always be. But the second part of that, is that we must always treat other humans as what they are, human beings. A human being can never, ever be an object. Here's the major problem with pornography, it treats women as objects #1, and it de-masculizes men #2. Because it makes men into something they were never meant to be, a thief, someone who steals, someone who takes. A man is a man when he acts in accord with his nature, and that is someone who gives, someone who protects, someone who loves. Pornography at its root, is about taking something that is not ours, and reducing the other to a mere thing. That is the exact recipe for unhappiness.

As always, here's the good news. We have the good news! Jesus is able to transform our sins and failings into something good. Pornography is very difficult to overcome, because God made our minds very strong, for all the reasons above- To Give, to create, to protect, to love. But when we poison the hard-drive, it takes time to remove the images. But with grace, "All things are possible". You will often hear drug addicts and alcoholics talk about how God turned their lives weakness into their greatest blessing, all because they were forced to rely completely on God's strength to carry them, and not rely on themselves, which is life anyway. Here's great advice from St. John Bosco, "I have never seen anything work outside of the Eucharist and the Rosary." The Rosary is really the great answer to overcome this scourge though because its a pro-active solution, it replaces the dark lies of pornography with the truth and light of the images of the Rosary. Confession is also an incredible help, because it applies not only accountability, but also grace to the wound. Lastly, its important to start again after confession, looking back only brings fear and despair, looking forward offers the opportunity to live as we were created to live.

The Note

My wife and I end up watching some great, but random movies every winter, because in the Spring, Summer and Fall, we rarely watch t.v. at all. But we stumbled upon a really cheesy but great movie, The Note, last night. This movie proves that as long as you have a great story, the movie can be incredibly low budget, and still hold the audience.

The story is that a plane crash happens in North Carolina, and along with seats and luggage, a note washes up on the shore, which a reporter finds while jogging on the beach. So the rest of the movie becomes a search for the person that the note is directed to. The reporter has to go through about 4-5 different people, and the message is what changes people, even though the note wasn't from their relative. All the note says is, "T, All is forgiven, Dad" So the reporter simply goes through every passenger with names starting with T. What makes the story so powerful, is what one simple message, "All is forgiven" does to each person confronted with the note, as the reporter says, "Its like they each were given a second chance,"

That made me think about the power and need for confession in our culture, because the soul has this deep desire to be forgiven, but more than that, people have a deep desire, "for a second chance", to start again, to make things right. There's a great scene in the book "The Two towers," by JRR Tolkien, at the end Gollum is so overwhelmed by the kindness that Frodo is showing him throughout their march to Mordor, and as he sleeps, Gollum looks at him, and he thinks back to his youth, "For a fleeting moment, if Sam or Frodo had seen him, they would have thought that they beheld an old weary hobbit, shrunken by years that had carried him far beyond his time, beyond friends and kin, and the fields and streams of his youth," Even Gollum hungered for a second chance.

St. Louis De Montfort gives this advice to the person in need of a second chance, "What would you do if you were given a second chance?" "Now go and do it," Its incredibly simple, but that's the message of this new week and new month, go and be the person that you were created to be, even if your old like Gollum, its never to late.

The Best things about Winter

I've updated the sidebar to this blog with some great Catholic Links, a guide to the rosary is there (If you own an iphone, there's a great app with a guide to the Rosary there is well). The rosary guide is the most important one, because as Sister Lucia said at Fatima, there is no problem that can not be overcome with the Rosary. Also, on the sidebar is a link for more info on Natural Family Planning, (There's also an iphone NFP app, I kid you not).

Every season, I always try to offer a quick list of the best things each season has to offer, and I've been late on the winter list, probably because winter is my least favorite season. But that's the completely wrong attitude, if the earthquake in Haiti should teach us anything, its to be more grateful. So here is the gratitude guide to winter.

1.) Great Opportunity for hard work- We can't accomplish our dreams and goals without hard work, and its hard to work in the Spring and Summer on a beautiful day, but the winter offers us an opportunity to put our head down and accomplish any necessary work.

2.) Opportunity to build Relationships- We are naturally inside more in winter, so it should be an opportunity to strengthen our relationships.

3.) Nature's Beauty- I was walking outside a couple weeks ago, and I was struck by how beautiful the sparseness of the winter is, there was a full moon, there was nothing growing, but I was so happy about the way nature runs its course.

4.) Great Sports Months- The NFL Playoffs and the Super Bowl are coming up, and College Basketball is heating up, plus the Winter Olympics start Feb 12th.

5.)Great Sleeping weather- Its darker longer in winter, so its almost an invition to catch up on some needed rest. Sleep is such a gift from God, and its good to catch up on it during the winter.

6.) Gratitude- The winter clearly fosters gratitude, it was 42 degrees here in Philly last week, and people were so excited, this is actually a great thing. People in San Diego don't enjoy 42 and sunny as much as we do!

This is an incomplete list, but every season offers us an opportunity for gratitude!

Please give to Haiti relief effort

Its always so hard to understand when these things happen, but the one glimmer of hope is always the way people in the world come together to help, here's a safe website Catholic Relief Services to give through www.crs.org, they have a great reputation for giving the funds directly for relief;

The Power of Setting Goals

Its a new year, and I love writing down the things I hope to accomplish for that year. Most of the time I keep it pretty simple, but last year in 2009 I was working on a project for work that involved risk and involved a lot of work, so I set a goal that if I finished the project for work, then my wife (Because she bore so much of the burden and the stress of the project) and I were going to reward ourselves. The project was not looking like it was going to come together for most of the year, we actually came very close in May, 2009 to changing courses all together, so when it was finally finished on Jan.6 (The Feast day of the Epiphany), the first thing my wife and I did was reward ourselves with the goal we wrote down on January 1st, 2009. It was really simple, "to purchase an original Michael O'Brien piece of artwork,". Some readers are probably saying, "what's the big deal,", but that's the point of goals and dreams, it was a big deal to us, we both love his artwork and his style, and truly believe that it will be an ongoing great investment for our family, not only now, but later as well, because I think he's an artist that will get a lot more fame and recognition once his life is over, which is how it happens most of the time. Its fun to write down goals that are simple, and goals that are hard, because you can look back and be amazed when it actually happens. The artwork we purchased is above, and the artist commentary is right here: (You can see his work at http://www.studiobrien.com/.)

Artist Commentary:

I began this painting several years ago, basing it on a scene I witnessed one autumn day, my young son observing the water, hills, and sky at a lake near our home. It was bracing weather, chilly and windy, and I was impressed by the way he remained without moving for so long, gazing at all that beauty, perhaps fixed on the hint of blue sky in the distance. It struck me as an image of the longing within us for the "distant shore" of eternity. There are expanses of fathomless water and high hills to cross, storms and much journeying before we arrive there. Even so, the full light is on the horizon, calling us. And the many-coloured light is all around us too.

George Foreman

I wanted to save this post for Monday, but I didn't want to forget anything, and the message is so good. I was listening to an NPR interview with George Foreman, heavy weight champion and successful entrepreneur. I have always had a sweet spot for George Foreman. He said two things that really peeked my interest in the interview, the first one was that he lost his first heavy weight belt, because he lacked endurance, and he won it back, because he had to feed his kids. As long as your heart is directed to things that are true, the heart is extremely powerful, so powerful that it can win a heavy weight championship when love is on the line. (what I mean by directing your heart to what is true, if you direct it to what is false, it is extremely powerful then too, like a forest fire).

The second thing George Foreman said at the very end of the interview as they asked him to give us 1 minute of wisdom. He said, "Forgiveness is the thin thread that holds us together, and the whole world together, and if you don't learn to forgive you are dooming yourself to unhappiness." He offered the story about how his father left him right after he was born, and then reappeared after he had become rich and famous. His first thought was, "what has this guy ever done for me, he's given me nothing but heart ache," But as he reasoned, I need to put my money where my mouth is, so he decided to forgive him, and accept him back into his life. The most amazing and unexpected gift happened because of this forgiveness, "my kids got a grandfather, " He had thought that this decision was all about him, what it would give him. But the gift was given to his children, and he was finally able to love his father, who was a world war II veteran, and as George says, "he was not a bad man, he was just scared to be a father."

If we don't forgive ourselves and others, we will be trapped in a never ending cycle.

The Road- A Book Review

A lot has been made about the book "The Road", what got me interested in it, was something the author Cormac McCarthy said on Oprah, "People can get what they want out of the book, according to their sensibilities, but the book's purpose is to be more grateful for life, and not take it for granted, because life is pretty darn good"

I need to be honest, I was not able to read the whole book, because I don't do well with dark books, but the central message is easily picked up on, the first message is what the author himself has said, Gratitude, in the new year, I have resolved to thank God for all the small things that we take for granted as Americans, In-door plumbing, electricity, warm water, the weather (Even when its cold), a functioning economy, passable roads and highways, farms, etc, etc, and all the big things, Love, Friendship, work, beholding the stars, etc, etc., Gratitude is a great way to start the new year!

The second obvious message, is Fatherhood. That whether its raining or sunny, for a man, Fatherhood is what its all about. Even if you don't have kids, the idea that were in this thing together, and the world needs today more than ever, strong men that have a sense of Spiritual Fatherhood, that is what's at the heart of the celibate priesthood, and the single life for a man. To not think about yourself, but to live for others. It comes across loud and clear in the book, that the goal is a "Fatherhood that seeks", not just to provide, but to love.