Allowing others to belong to God

I read Amy Welborn's blog amywelborn.wordpress.com last week after I found out about the terrible loss of her husband 2 weeks ago, and the last 4-5 posts are truly incredible, its amazing the depth a person can muster in the worst situations, and I am so thankful for her strength in sharing these insights. In one of her post on gratitude, she talked about how its been a life long work of hers to allow others to belong to God, especially her children. As a father of 5 children, I really identified with this. My first son wasn't half way out of the womb, and I could already imagine him winning the Heisman trophy, the College Basketball player of the year, and the French Open all in the same year. I have a sense that men struggle with this more than women. Because its a very real temptation to want to live your own life again through your children. I take that back, women struggle with this as well. To want to undo all your own mistakes, and relive all your own glories in the life of your children. If you don't think this is true, just go to any grade school or high school sporting event, and sit in the parent section, and you will see many, many fathers trying to live through their children.

There's a big problem with this. Children don't belong to their parents. They belong to God, and the only human response is to let them belong to God, and find their own walk.

I had a powerful experience of this over the weekend, my oldest son had his First Reconciliation on Saturday. So when it was his time to go to confession, I walked him to the back of the Church, and I patted him on his back, and watched him walk by himself to the confessional door. As the door closed, it dawned on me, "he is on his own journey with God". I am so grateful that God has chosen me to accompany him on this journey, but it became very clear to me that its his journey, not mine. He is a gift to me, not a possession of mine, therefore any attempt to force my own way upon him will always backfire; because the human person loves freedom, as it should, because freedom is God's greatest gift to man.

Don't get me wrong, sharing the gifts of our life with our children is very different than forcing them on our children. My dad shared his love for basketball with me at an early age, and it became an important part of our relationship. John Paul II said it best, "Christians should propose the Gospel, never impose the Gospel," The answer lies in my son's first penance, which is great for a 7 year old, or a 99 year old. The priest asked him to read Psalm 23 in front of the Tabernacle, and when he was done, to say this short prayer, "From now on, Jesus, I want You to be the Sheppard of my soul"; What amazing advice!