Your Spouse is first.

My wife and I went to a great concert on last Friday night, and the singer, an Irish tenor Mark Forrest, told a great story about Gregory Peck, how he converted to Catholicism towards the end of his life, and about a time that Mark sang at an award ceremony for Peck. During Gregory Peck's acceptance speech, he stated, that the only thing that really matter to him was, "being a great father," It was an awesome sentiment. But right when I heard it, I thought to myself that it was slightly out of order.

In my opinion the order that even kids prefer is for a father to be a great husband to their mom, and the great father part falls naturally in line. John Wooden has a great quote, "If you want to do something great for your kids, love their mother," It really makes perfect sense, because all kids love their moms. Its mom's that kids run to when they skim their knee, not dad's. Kids love their mom's. So whenever a father doesn't love his spouse, it creates an enormous credibility problem with the kids, because you have failed the only test your kids are giving you, you've failed the only test they want you to pass.

Men have a legitimate desire in their hearts, they want to be a great father. They want to provide for and love their kids. But sometimes the order gets messed up, the start needs to be with your spouse. Every time you hug your wife in front of your kids, or get her flowers, or say a kind word, its ultimately the kids who receive that love, because that's the action they want from you.

Having said all that, its true that life is rarely that easy. We have all done things and said things that hurt our spouse, and in turn hurt our children. But as the saying from the Church Fathers goes, "Every moment the world begins anew," applies here as well. If we haven't been the spouse we are capable of being, then there is no better time to start than today, with Easter 13 days away, there's no better resolution for the final days of Lent.